I was seeing red.
The gasket was about to blow.
My rage was about to combust, as my 4 year old threw a tantrum in the bathtub. I was vibrating as I went to get him out. Bath time was over! The FEAR, I saw it in those sweet little brown eyes. The fear I vowed, long ago I was never going to cause was staring me right in the face. I vowed to never be like HER.
The look on my son’s face snapped me out of it. I had officially sank to the lowest point in my human existence.
Rock fucken bottom.
My internal world was in complete chaos and I was at its mercy. I went from being constantly assaulted by fear and anxiety in my childhood, to being buried by depression in my teens, to morphing into a monster of rage by the time I got to my 30s.
My child was scared of me *exhale*.
“How the fuck did I get here” echoed in my mind.
Enough of this. NO MORE!
I needed to deal with my shit. I wasn’t going to be the monster that raised me.
I threw myself into healing my trauma so I wouldn’t pass it on. It was stopping with me.
That was 6 years ago. I live an amazing existence now. My mind and soul are at peace. I love myself and know exactly who I am. I am the best mother I can possibly be and my children are my proof. I am free of the monsters that haunted me for years.
I learned so much on my healing journey. The things I learned in my nursing degree took on so much more meaning. I have a visceral understanding of what it means to heal your emotional traumas by learning better ways of coping and being. I know what it’s like to go from one end of the mental health spectrum to the other. I am proof that with the right support and enough faith and desire, healing is not only possible but achievable.
Now, I’m here to help you calm your emotional monsters.
My ultimate goal is to get you to the point where you feel in control of your emotions, love and trust yourself, have clarity and confidence and are able to have meaningful relationships with those that matter most to you. These things can be really hard when your negative emotions and moods are all over the place and ones running the show.